Fashion Musings in today’s world, coupled with the art of self-care, is a tricky dance.

We are all going through a lot, but it seems like people are cruel to anyone who doesn’t fit their ideal of human being.

My intolerance for intolerance starts where others are intolerant of others for simply existing.

Existing in bodies and identities that cannot be changed. 

Nor should they be. 

It would seem that others in power, and in society, would rather make rules that oppress, rather than get along while living in our shared differences. 

Unfortunately, it has gotten to the point that we cannot move alongside each other in such stark and dangerous differences together when one takes a look at the genocidal tone of the past year in America and throughout the world.

I can’t believe this is the world we inhabit, yet I guess something like America’s departure from shinning star is due to happen.

How do you deal?

Hungarian Goulash

I made Hungarian Goulash from my great-great-grandma’s recipe. I tried to improvise, and I don’t think I will next time. 

It was really good; however, I just want to try her recipe down to the last detail. You know?

Just to see how she made it.

If you want a deep purple red goulash, add beets. 

For my first go around at making Hungarian Goulash, I think I did alright. It was not as good as my great-aunt’s, who made it this past summer. Hers was so good. I still dream about it. She added beets too, but hers was chef’s kiss. No notes. 

My specialty is Chicken Paprikash. That, I do have down. 

I was stunned to find how easy the goulash was to make. The flavors in the goulash make it feel like it is something truly complex. 

It’s honestly the most beautiful soup, and so rich and full of amazing nutrients. 

I really enjoyed the meal prep.

Imagine taking all the world’s frustration out on some unassuming vegetables against the grains of a cutting board.

It felt amazing to go off on some veggies. 

Hungarian Goulash is perfect for the winter months, but you can make it year round if you want. I even think Hungary has a cold cherry soup as well. Not as brave to try that yet.

The goulash, however, is divine.

Truly. 

I will link a recipe for you to try here. 

The Balaclava – Fashion Musings

Next, the balaclava.

How fun is the balaclava?

I love it so much. I have two. They can be worn as a scarf, and are such a great layering piece.

Recently I saw a knitted triangle scarf. I want one so badly now.

Maybe I should crochet or knit my own?

Right now, I have one balaclava in pink and one in cream and I am on the hunt for more cool-toned colors (mine are warmer shades right now (I bought them online), but I have been trying to wear mine any chance I get.

Here is a great knitted option offered in solid colors from Etsy seller LuxeFrStudio.

LED Light Therapy Mask – These do Look Slightly Dystopian

Now to LED masks.

I will write a review on mine. I promise, but for now, just know– they are worth every penny.

Do make sure that you research the brand of LED light therapy masks.

Short story short — applied pressure and sitting still.

Heaven.

Is it just as good as therapy? It’s a start.

I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is to find the small pockets of joy, try to be intentional, pay attention to what is going on in the world, but figure out a way to rebalance, as that is the way of resistance and resisting a fascist government.

You know?

Do I have that figured out? Also, no!

TTFN,

Nikita

The post Hungarian Goulash, Light Therapy and Fashion Musings appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

I think it goes without saying –“Tis the Season” – to give to food banks and donate where you can.

Many families will be hurting to put food on the table this year, and if you have something to give —

Now is your time to shine.

I have found this gift guide to be tricky. I wanted to share things that I thought could be nice —

Let me be transparent…..

As a consumer, the gifts feel lackluster this year in terms of budget, quality and finds in an ever dire state of the world —

I did my best.

Enjoy.

Gifts for Her

I think the Ugg Classic Micro boot is going to be a hit for a lot of ladies this year.

An LED Face Mask.

I recommend getting one that has different LED lighting options. Not all are compatible for all skin-tones. 

For example, the Blue LED light treatment should be avoided on brown and black skin as it can make hyperpigmentation worse. 

If you want a face-and-neck mask, I would check out one from Megelin. I love mine. 

Buying hack: if you want to give to someone next year, I would try purchasing in February of next year. 

This Dior nail polish would be such a great gift for a person who loves fashion or beauty products, without having to spend a lot of money, and gifting other fun things with it.

You could give sheet masks, bath products, chocolate (the good kind), and gift cards along with it, and wrap it really nicely.

Presentation and intention are everything.

A Gucci lipstick.

Cozy waffle pajamas.

A wine decant.

Whoever loves a rose will love this bracelet.

Huggies.

The Empire Carryall bag from Coach.

Water Flosser.

Who doesn’t love good oral hygiene?

Chic leather gloves

Cookware.

Wool trouser socks.

Dome ponytail holder.

Earrings that feel luxury but at a reasonable price.

A woody vanilla perfume.

A portable skin fridge.

Christmas Gift Guide for HER Continued…..

Classic Ugg Slippers.

T3 Free People 360 Air Styler.

107 Days.

Retainer Cleaner.

A fun berry-toned lipstick.

A Weekend Bag.

Skin Gym Ice Roller.

Gift the ladies with a Ralph Lauren book to complete their RL Christmas theme.

Great products for thicker hair. Gisou is a popular brand that many swear by.

Bag charms.

A cable knit throw.

An Apple Watch.

Travel jewelry case.

Coach Puff Tabby Bag.

Adidas sneakers.

For the writer.

Such a great accessory for those who love to use their computers.

Lip and cheek oil.

The Ninja Creamy.

Stocking Stuffer Ideas

A quality lip gloss that doesn’t break the bank.

Lotion.

Sports Bra.

Mantra Books.

Crochet board.

Thermos.

Scarf.

Hair Repair Mask.

Affordable lip and cheek tint from Elf.

Body scrub.

Spa Headband and cuffs.

Reusable K Cups.

Lego set.

Pac Man.

Beanie.

A great mascara.

Elf Shimmer Balm.

Honorable Mentions — Gift Cards, Tea, Chocolate, Coffee and Wine or Liquor of person’s preference.

Fin.

The post The Best Christmas Guide for Her 2025 appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Mother’s Day Gift guide time has officially arrived. This blog post was created in April of 2023 and has been updated for 2025!

There are so many ways to thank the mother figures in your life.

When gift giving, it’s super important to think of the person you’re gifting for.

I try to think of simple things.

What does this person enjoy?

What are their favorite things?

That kind of thing.

For the Gardening Mom

Honestly, in our family we tend to spend time in the garden on Mother’s Day.

In fact, when I got older I would travel to see my grandmother on Mother’s Day and we would spend the weekend together.

On Sunday, I would drive home and give my mom her gifts.

Because my grandmother lived a few hours away, my mom would always send a large and beautiful bouquet of flowers for her via a flower service.

My grandmother loved flowers.

Those were my favorite ways to celebrate the mother figures in my life.

Because my grandmother loved gardening so much, one year I bought her a special mug and stored a plant inside and she loved it.

She then planted the flower later in her garden and used her mug pretty regularly.

To make it even more special I bought myself a matching mug– so we would be in sync with our love of daily tea.

A mug like Lulu and Georgia’s is a perfect mug to store a plant inside for a really cute gift for mom’s, grandma’s and all the moms in your life.

To really get into the groundwork of gardening this Canvas Carry-On Garden Stool is great for hauling around gardening tools.

Next, is a great way to refresh your mom’s garden tools.

Next is for the mom who loves flowers, but wants to display them inside year round.

The Spa Lover

Because it is getting warmer out, I think it’s a great option to gift your mom a new bathrobe for spring and summer.

Another great gift is lovely bath salts, which is a great way to encourage your mom to relax at home on her special day.

Add in a scented candle to a mom approved spa situation and I think she’ll be thanking you.

For the mom who loves to travel.

Closing with some cozy slippers.

For Skincare Loving Mom’s

Check out this facial roller for the ultimate sculpt and lift.

This will absolutely get you brownie points.

A set of five luxury hydrating face masks.

Some hair masks for hydration are also a great gift for moms everywhere. Not to mention this eye mask.

Closing the spa section with this Gua Sha tool gift theme.

Fashion Loving Mom’s

Mother’s Day is a great time to add to your mom’s accessories wardrobe.

Here are some of my favs.

I tried to keep this year’s Mother’s Day gift guide really fun and to the point.

For other gifting options I would suggest a gift card that your mom can enjoy.

This year, I am actually so excited to gift my mom her Mother’s Day gift.

I think she read’s this blog from time to time — but as she is the ultimate snoop – so there is literally NO hint of her gift in this gift guide.

Anyways —

Just give what you can, take care of yourself when needed and let your mom know you’re thinking of her on Mother’s Day.

Sometimes a card and a meal or a phone call says it all.

Happy Mother’s Day!

xx

(This was posted on April 3rd 2023 and has been updated on April 29th, 2025).

The post A Fun Mother’s Day Gift Guide appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Do you know what really sets the mood for spring besides flowers and floral prints?

Spring scents.

I will be doing a perfume round-up soon — so stay tuned for that if you are also a lover of scents (the good kind, that is).

Truly, nothing puts me in a better mood than a great-smelling environment. It is the first thing you notice when entering into a home, or any room and it has the power to influence how you feel (I actually believe this).

These are just a small few of my favorite scents and what I have been enjoying.

Please note that if you do have animals, you need to place the scents I am sharing into rooms your pet is not allowed access to, as that is the best way to keep them away from toxic scents.

The scents I am sharing are not made for pets to inhale (although I was able to find a few labeled as such).

Diffuser Scents for Spring – Home Scents

I just discovered that my new favorite home scent is in the scent white lily. It is divine.

Now, be warned — I purchased my diffuser from Home Goods, but you can buy directly online from the main retailer.

Below, I have linked similar and other scents I know I want to try.

Pet-Friendly Diffuser Options – Home Scents for Spring

Home Candles

Over Christmas, I really started to notice how strong Bath and Body Works candles are. They really do offer a strong and lingering scent.

For the price point, I get it. It’s both kitsch and elevated. A modern-day TREAT!

My two favorite scents as of late have been the Pink Lavender & Espresso scented candle, as well as the Sunkissed Morning scented candle (which looks to be out of stock).

Here are some other spring-scented candles.

I really want to try the Cire Trudon Spring in Versailles candle because who wouldn’t want that? I mean, I don’t want historically accurate Versailles, where court literally relieved themselves in corners of the palace – however, these gardens were built to throw out the stench – so it’s got to be great, right?

Pet friendly options can be found here.

Hand Soaps

Another great way to get into spring is to invest in spring-scented soaps.

I actually have lemon soap that I keep in its original box and smell during the winter. It really does boost one’s endorphins and dopamine. Sunshine in a box. Truly.

Other scents I have been incorporating are rose soaps as well as rose, poppy, and vanilla soap (one combo I really enjoy).

Anyway, hope everyone is doing as best as they can.

xx,

Nikita

The post Home Scents for Spring that Make you Forget How Bad America Sucks Right Now! appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Boycotting Target, Walmart & Amazon — 

Can boycotting things actually make you happier? More yourself and more resourceful?

I want to say yes. Yes, it can.

To be honest with you, the past year with blogging about certain relevant topics can be fun —

It really can be, but it also walks a fine line of being a terrible thief of joy (if you let it).

Blogs are for writing (or so I thought and still do think).

Politics Not Aside —

This election cycle forced me to take a step back.

To look at myself, to challenge myself, to really look at the blogging space as a whole, and look at how it fit in my own world personally.

To be honest, I got really angry at the passivity of this election cycle in online spaces. It felt irresponsible and silently violent. Sinister even.

It seemed so impolite to even speak about human rights issues.

Be your brand. Until what though? At what cost?

It felt as if everyone was signaling silently to just play along —

As if everything was not as corrupt and misaligned with the human experience as it seemed.

Truth be told, I couldn’t be that person, and I have never been that person.

Starting a Substack

Starting my Substack was a fun way to force myself to be honest with readers and myself. Have you started a Substack? All the nerds and weirdos go there, and it’s fun. I love it!

If you’re going to do something like a blog, it needs to be in a way that makes sense to you and in a way that brings you joy, honors your values, and allows the cracks to show a bit.

If you love fashion, but today’s fashion feels so far removed from the fashion you grew up enjoying (in terms of how people engage with it), I feel your plight!

It seems to no longer be about what someone likes — it seems to be about what EVERYONE else likes.

Taking what I love about fashion —

It felt like it had been melted into a nice, neat gold coin and had its soul extracted into quantifiable sources of “trend.”

The Quiet Luxury Trend

I really want to talk about this before hammering into boycotting territory.

Let’s talk about the quiet luxury trend and how the social cues of who you are without speaking are dead giveaways after your clothes have done the talking —

I believe fashion is a conversation piece about so many things before words are even spoken — To me, it just makes sense not to overthink it.

Letting Yourself Be You!

People often forget that personality and where you come from are housed in many facets of a person before their clothes are even considered.

Yes, your clothes give the first impression, but have you considered that your way of speaking, accent, and mannerisms are all dead giveaways as to your class and where you came from?

Accepting yourself as you are, where you come from, your socioeconomic background is really important.

Obviously, people change their stations in life a lot — I am just saying some things cannot be bought.

Take my grandmother, for example. She grew up pretty well off as a child. That woman was classy (both of my grandmothers were, but in different ways).

But I grew up middle class, and she had to constantly remind me of my posture and how to eat soup properly (the spoon motion is real guys — etiquette, lol). My clothes could have been the nicest, but if I could not pick up social cues, or my accent was a “working class” accent — it’s a dead giveaway as to where I came from, and that is fine.

Think of My Fair Lady — Eliza Doolittle was housed in the best clothes, but it was the entire package that meant she was “A Lady of society.” Old story short, but worth remembering. Eliza constantly felt like an outsider — but she got on. She stayed true to who she was.

So why fake it to the degree so many fake it? Just some food for thought.

For example – when I buy a dupe, it’s because I know that my buying the original item is ridiculous. I have nice things, but I am not trying to trick anyone — the point is to wear what you like and be yourself in the clothes you have.

When you get dressed, you have to get dressed as honestly as you can be with yourself. I am not saying don’t play dress up, I am saying don’t devalue who you are for approval.

Again, to each their own.

Boycotting Target, Walmart, Amazon

America’s current vice before this election was to turn a blind eye and just get on with it.

Trend cycles — a distraction.

Target, Amazon, and Walmart hauls — a distraction.

I decided to pay attention and, in doing so, felt that boycotting these businesses was a great option for my sanity, and it aligned with my values.

Boycotting these businesses has been so much fun.

A blast even.

I also got rid of TikTok, which is truly a blessing in disguise.

Aspects You May Love about Boycotting Target, Walmart, and Amazon!

Here are some aspects about the boycott that you may like —

Not shopping at these stores, allows you to think about where you get all of your stuff from in a more focused and filtered way, while also figuring out ways in which you can obtain items that you do need– you have to build new habits and shopping methods.

Body care and household items — where was I getting those? Now, I order directly from the website of the vendor or from a different company entirely. It’s fun.

Not having things at your fingertips is honestly the true luxury.

There are bonuses to not shopping at these stores. For one, you’ll have to think harder about shopping for things because you won’t be constantly being shown a cheap version of something you probably never even wanted in the first place.

If you have started to boycott Target, Walmart, and Amazon — do let me know in the comments.

Anyway, end rant.

TTYL.

xx,

Nikita

The post Boycotting Target, Walmart & Amazon & How it Feels Great appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Post election thoughts and how I am moving forward.

Last week, I took the week to re-group my thoughts and feelings and looked at ways to navigate my space in continuing my blog during the Christmas season.

I am going to level with you.

To sell anyone anything on this blog right now (in new content) feels odd and leaves me feeling kind of gross.

I sifted through the news and the facts of what actually was being presented, all while consulting my marketing and communications background.

Marketing Nikita says to pull the planned content and re-strategize — even take time off.

It’s not the right time to bury my head in the sand, the snow, or any sense of cloud of delusion.

Pulling the content that I had planned pre-election seems like the best idea.

I even grappled with the idea of not posting anything until the new year.

Sometimes your ability to live with your actions is more important than trying to cash in on the Christmas season (if you can help it)!

Professional influencers (I am not a professional influencer) who are keeping it moving likely have a lot to lose if they do not keep to their normal strategies.

Everyone is hurting right now.

Following my Gut

I know how people love to say facts over feelings.

Here are the facts.

My own facts.

Anytime I have seen anyone (American-based) market their space as if we didn’t just collectively vote to end democracy and side with a treasonous president-elect — I view your brand with a cerebral and self-righteous ick.

Maybe that is their coping mechanism to not address it.

I just know that I would never want the support of anyone who supports the idea of fascism, racism, or elitism.

For me, it just makes me feel gross.

That is my right.

I have mostly blocked accounts that give off white supremacy vibes, indifference vibes and just have overall sinister vibes.

Grappling with trying to post as usual and my throat and stomach wanting to dislodge the contents that are lodged deep within my bowels has been an experience.

It just makes me sick. Literally.

That much is out of my control.

There is not enough ginger and mint tea to keep my nausea down at this point.

How I View Shopping – Post-Election Thoughts

Preparing myself for the historical accuracy of events means understanding that this is not the best time to spend.

Bezos and Buffet want cash (the biggest hint that things may go south is really all the proof I need).

I am not going to play economist on my blog, but if you voted for Donald Trump, it is very likely that you don’t understand economics at all or, at the very least, do not care.

Like many, I do hope that his supporters get the four years that they deserve (hoping that they also understand that they may have installed a man trying to play dictator).

Good luck to us all!

Really!

Now is Not Really a Great Time to Spend

If you can, save.

Live like you will be fine with less.

Practice makes perfect.

My new motto is “Live, laugh, save.”

Very cutesy.

Purposefully demure.

What You Can Expect to See from the Blog

I still have a style guide that is two months late that needs to be posted for leopard print pants (as mentioned in my ‘Finding Style after 30’ YT video a month ago).

Posting fashion edits of holiday looks will also likely be done. I just may try to link less. Idk. Let me know your thoughts.

That should be up either this week or next.

There may be a few weeks with nothing.

I have to honor the times as I see fit.

In terms of the holiday season, I have posted what I feel covers all the bases.

I may feel differently in a few weeks, even next week…. But right now, it still feels too soon.

There will be many who engage with their audiences with their normal programming.

I can promise you, you won’t miss me.

There will always be someone making new content that hits the mark for you, but right now — it likely won’t be me!

I hope everyone has a great holiday season and that you all take care.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

xx,

Nikita

(these are opinions expressed by myself and are not affiliated with any other organizations or affiliations.)

The post Post-Election Thoughts, No Spend Christmas & More! appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Last year, I did this Ultimate Christmas Gift Guide, and I really loved it.

For me, I find that having one main piece of literature that encompasses the gist of gift giving really helps my brain.

You can get really detailed or really broad.

It is up to you.

This likely won’t be the only gift guide I throw up for the Christmas season, but if it is.

I think I could be absolutely fine with that decission.

Groceries are expensive.

Rent is high.

Let’s stop pretending we inherited our parents economy when they were our age.

No.

No. We. Did. Not.

You work hard, I see you.

I see me.

So, here I am.

Just plugging away at this Christmas gift guide, knowing that many homes are surviving by the skin of their teeth every month.

It’s stressful out here.

A Shopping Tip

Gifts are always optional. I would discuss with your family how you want to exchange gifts this year.

Last year, I bought everyone a very nice present with a specific monetary limit.

What I loved about that was I only had to worry about one gift per person in my immediate family, and it was way less stressful and meaningful.

You know?

Also, shop sales.

Always try and shop sales, and if you can swing it….shop throughout the year.

I would say save.

But baby.

Have you seen these prices?

Consumerism has us all PUNKED, and saving is even harder to do with how expensive everything has gotten.

End rant. Ultimate Christmas Gift Guide time.

Let’s run away to the Candy Cane forest of the 90s with Buddy the Elf–where things monetarily made sense for anyone over the age of 18.

The Fashion Forward Lady In Your Life – Under $200

The Ugg Mini Platform. These are a slay and not a cheap gift. They will love how cozy these are. Trust.

A cozy lounge/pj set.

Quilter Puffer Jackets are a pretty sought after item for cooler months.

A classic bag. You can find many at different price points. Check out my designer bag dupes blog post.

A perfume of their choice. Philosophy has this magnolia scent that I love for spring. It’s so good.

The Stanley is a water fountain for the on-the-go girlie.

Gold hoops.

A pair of hunter boots.

A moto jacket.

Slippers. The Goodnight Macarons slippers are no longer in stock. You can be added to the restock list.

Here are a few others options.

Women love a 90s to early aught’s graphic t.

Tom Ford. A piece of fashion history.

A favorite amongst many.

I am obsessed with this watch. It is currently sold out. Below are some alternatives.

Gift Tip: If you know that your loved one loves to shop but don’t know what to buy them. Buy them a gift card and attach it to something sentimental — a candle, a movie, a book, their favorite batch of cookies.

Beauty

Who doesn’t love a clay mask?

Dior’s lip oil.

Extra bonus points if you can score the “Soothe & Comfort Cashmere & Vanilla Magnesium Stick.” Anything from this line will be absolutely loved. I promise.

Is she a neutrals girl? Buy her an eyeshadow kit to match.

For the traveler.

A fun LED mask.

If she loves for her nails to be done….Now she can do them at home.

A pulse facial massager.

Ice rolling for depuffing and sculpting.

For the Cooking Enthusiasts

Did someone say two basket air fryer?

Food storage.

Wine chiller for the host in your life.

Baking sheets.

To the fajita lovers of the world…..

Pots and pans.

Chopped.

For a warm heart, always have a warm mug ready.

For Him

Clean shaven.

Beer making kit.

Brand matching card holders. So cute.

An upgrade to a cozy slipper.

For the gym or a weekend getaway –This duffle bag is perfect.

Cozy pajamas.

An affordable loafer.

Leather lotion for all his leather goods.

A light jacket.

Basic white t-shirt restock.

A charging station.

Socks.

Kids – Ultimate Christmas Gift Guide

Barbie.

My favorite gift to give. I bought the pink one on Amazon.

Legos. I do miss the days of the massive lego bucket. I think they sell them as Lego Classics.

Check out this Lego Simba. I love.

Kinetic sand play set.

A voice changer.

Drifting with a remote control car. This one from Amazon looks like too much fun.

Kid sized electric car.

A wooden toy workbench.

A scooter.

Peter Rabbit wooden set.

A toy vanity set.

Pets

This is so regal. I love it. It is currently sold out. Here are some alternatives that I will list below.

These are great for traveling and setting up in different rooms of the house.

Elevated dog bowls.

Personalized stocking stuffer.

Kitty litter box.

Food storage.

Lick matt.

Snuffle mat.

Dog training waist belt. It is one-size but can be used to train any size dog.

You can never have enough poop bags.

Closing with a dog sweater. I would never suggest a cat in a sweater. Unless you want to be shredded by their tiny bean scissors. I don’t have the guts.

This concludes the 2024 Ultimate Christmas Gift Guide.

I hope you walk away feeling less bogged down by the cost of everything and are able to get some ideas for your loved ones.

If you want a bougie gift guide –– I think last years had a few gems.

xx

Original Post November 6th, 2023 12a.m. | Updated November 3rd, 2024

The post The Ultimate Christmas Gift Guide for All – Under $300 appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

The Best of Trader Joe’s for Fall —

It’s truly one of the best times of the year.

Here are my beauty recommendations for you.

Best of Fall Trader Joe’s for Fall — Honey Hydration

Honey Hydration is a duo set from Trader Joe’s.

I have yet to get my hands on it, but if you are lucky enough — I am glad you were able to try it.

This product is supposed to be a dupe for Farmacy’s Honey Halo.

Honey Halo is about $48 for its 1.7 oz formula and $25 for its smallest version.

Either way, the Trader Joe’s dupe will offer you a day and evening lotion for about $7 together.

Not a terrible way to get your moisture in for the colder months.

(Plus, this could also make a fantastic stocking stuffer as we gear for the colder months.)

You can buy this duo here.

Decor – Honey Crisp Scented Apple Candles

This is not a beauty-related item but a necessary purchase ( I kid).

All things must smell like fall for fall ( I joke again).

Please tell me I am not the only one (no, but seriously though).

Fall Home Necessity – Apple Cider Foaming Hand Soap

I could not love this soap more.

It smells delicious and foams beautifully.

Not to mention, it lasts a fair amount of time.

Dessert Options –Organic Maple Butter

This sounds amazing.

Something to put on waffles, toast or to eat plain.

Honorable mention — Pumpkin Spice and Snickerdoodle Cookie Mix.

This is a pretty short-listed version of everything.

I hope you enjoy this autumn and these fall Trader Joe’s short-listed items.

xx,

Nikita

For more blog posts like this please check out my other Trader Joe’s post.

Best of Trader Joe’s Beauty

The post The Best of Trader Joe’s for Fall appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Alone for the holidays?

I made a similar blog post back in 2020, and it’s time for an updated version.

We are post-pandemic and I think the good thing about that is that there is more awareness about spending the holidays alone.

Can I be honest with you?

I love spending the holidays alone.

Truly. Bliss.

However, that is not my reality every year, but I do try to spend at least one holiday alone a year.

Even if you’re not happy to spend the holidays alone, you can try to make the most of your situation.

The key is to acknowledge your feelings, sit with your feelings, validate your feelings, and navigate those feelings.

Step 1: Acknowledge What You Love About the Holiday You’re Spending Alone

It could be that your family makes a certain dish that always makes the holiday feel special.

Try making it for yourself.

You can make the normal serving and freeze the rest, or you can try to make a single serving of your favorite dish.

Step 2: Make Plans

Waking up on a holiday with a game plan is key.

It’s important to make plans with yourself.

Making plans with yourself is such a game-changer.

As someone who used to be a chronic people pleaser and a bit co-dependent, nothing freaked me out more than doing things by myself.

Now I love it.

No one will flake out on you except you in this situation.

You’re not depending on anyone to show up or even be in a good mood.

These plans involve you and only you.

Do something you love.

Take yourself to the movies, to a nice wine bar, out to dinner, or go shopping.

Plan your perfect date and take yourself.

Go grocery shopping and plan a day of cooking.

Listen to your favorite song on repeat. Who’s going to stop you? Exactly!

Sleep in.

Enter Your Do Not Disturb Season

Put your phone on Do Not Disturb.

This means you delete all social apps until after the holiday.

Who wants to be reminded of the holiday festivities you’re actively not participating in?

Exactly.

Keep Pinterest up.

Re-pin to your heart’s content. Pinterest is the only form of healthy social media. I am convinced.

Plan for Your Future

While everyone is spending time with people they may or may not like — you get to spend time in your own space, with your own energy and your own thoughts.

This can sound scary to some.

To you? Heaven.

This is the perfect time to organize your life, create dreams, make plans, and get ahead on projects if that is what you like to do for fun.

Host Your Own Dinner

Host a dinner yourself.

You can invite friends over if they also don’t have holiday plans.

Have everyone bring one dish and BYOB.

Play games and chill out together.

Know What You Want – Alone for the Holidays

Knowing what you want will help you navigate this season of your life.

If someone finds out you are spending the holidays alone and invites you over, do you want to accept the invitation?

Personally, the FOMO of being home while being out is sometimes too great.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep to your plans.

You aren’t broken for wanting to spend the holidays alone.

At least I don’t think you are.

Make a Month of Plans

I think this is a great way to celebrate a holiday by yourself.

If you can find an events social calendar, schedule in dates with friends or your SO, and by the time the holiday rolls around, you have fully done all the holiday things, with the day of the actual holiday to yourself.

Also, bliss.

Be Flexible

Plans can change.

Know your limits.

Maybe you do go to a dinner, but after an hour or two, you decide you want to leave.

You can do that.

Always have an escape plan.

Let the host know that you will drop by for a little bit.

Do what feels right to you and communicate it.

I hope this helps ease you into this perspective change.

Spending holidays alone can indeed be very fun. It can also bring up other feelings.

It’s okay to feel both.

On the other side of it, you’ll realize you’re one tough cookie.

Cozy Items for a Solo Holiday

Here are the items that I think make for a great solo holiday!

Enjoy!

Nothing says cozy nights in like a quilted throw.

Drink from a fancy water glass during your solo holiday.

Set the mood with a candle that reminds you “you’re the best.”

Eat from the best plates you own.

Create with legos

Create an epic movie night with a projector.

Pick up a hobby.

Invest in a pair of day-side pajamas.

xx,

Nikita

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The post Alone for the Holidays? Let’s Make Sure You’re Having the Best Holiday Ever! appeared first on Bella Kate 22.

Summer reading and summer book reviews go hand-in-hand.

I will try to make my thoughts on each book as concise and nice as possible.

I have to say a few things here.

The first is that I bought two books last summer as a challenge to get out of a reading rut.

Blame it on social media and the shrinking attention span of the masses, or the fact that I almost majored in English and journalism and hence (for a time) had ruined my love of reading for a good decade or both.

But here we are.

Embracing a Good Beach Read – Hits & Some are Maybe Not for Me

Slowly embracing the slow burn of a good book, but also trudging through hate reading other books.

I have only hate read once before — the Faerie Queen is absolute torture to read.

Awful (please don’t hate me for voicing my opinion that nobody asked for). 

I read the books slowly, rolling my eyes at times because I was not too fond of some of the books for some of the time that I was reading them.

Do not fear — they do have artistically redeeming qualities, and I would not have known that if I had put them down mid-read.

Two books I started last summer and finished this summer that I was easily able to put each down and re-enter their worlds without having to re-read — I remembered the plot, and so that has to mean something, right?

Let’s dive Into these books, shall we?

Happy Place by Emily Henry

I purchased this book mid-spring last year, as I typed “beach reads” into the Apple bookstore search bar.

Reading through a handful of options —

Selecting “Happy Place” seemed to be a no-brainer as I thought this would be the best option for getting out of a reading rut.

I could not have been more wrong.

While reading “Happy Place,” I had flashbacks to the film “10 Things I Hate About You” and the guidance counselor’s line where she is sitting at the desk waiting for Kat —

Typing away and pausing, only to audibly decide on the words —

“Quivering member” (it did have a similar style of writing at times, and I had to laugh).

Rave Review or Not – Summer Book Reads

I really tried to like this book — I really did!

It had rave reviews (at first glance the year prior).

Recently, I revisited the reviews, and people are split on this book.

Some people love it, and others hate it.

As a summer read, I found it to be based on a really under-developed main character.

Beach reads (not her other book — just a beach read book in general) should require less brain power as you follow the conversations along (IMO).

I found this to be a maze of conversation that, most of the time led to nowhere —

Often leaving conversations that as a reader, felt unnecessary and anti-climatic.

This is, of course, the entire point, and is an artistically driven choice (but you don’t find that out until later in the book).

Conversational pieces in this book are a ping-pong event between the lead observing others and the supporting characters carrying the brunt of the storyline through conversation and reactions.

It does feel a bit like reading someone’s diary who doesn’t know themselves very well and can’t speak their mind (all things that are explained in the book).

Read Happy Place for the Ending

However, this book does end on a happy note (hence the title), and I did enjoy it around the last hundred pages.

So, I am glad I stuck it out.

However, it was not an easy book for me to finish, and I thought about quitting it entirely (throughout my time reading it).

Maybe as a 20-something, I would have enjoyed it more.

It is a coming-of-age story focusing on expectations of self and of others.

There is a great, underlying message to the story —

It just drags on in places, and I found it to be a bit much at times.

I even found myself wanting to re-order the chapters to captivate the reader’s attention more (the reader is me) —

Something I have never done while reading a book in my life.

On a greater scale, I really liked that I didn’t find the bones of the book until the end.

There is nothing worse than giving a book a full read and finding that there was (in fact) nothing holding the storyline together. 

In the end, the book does save itself.

Perseverance to understand the writing was pretty cool.

I give it 5/10 stars on my summer reading list.

Wednesday’s at One

This book grabs you pretty quickly.

Even after reading the synopsis, you cannot wait to pick it up and fully commit to the book.

The main character is absolutely a head case who is also a therapist –A therapist without boundaries, yet has created a wall between himself and those he cares most about.

Or does he?

As you read the book, you really begin to dislike the lead character for how self-absorbed he is towards his wife and children.

You cannot help but have empathy for the main character in his internalized chaos —

But you also realize in the same book that he is willing to lose everything because he loves himself more than his family.

I have never hated the main character of a book more than I did in this book.

What I loved about the story is that there is redemption for him, forgiveness even.

Will he take it?

Who is this mysterious woman who knows of his past?

Guess you’ll have to read the book.

I give this book 7/10 stars because it is interesting, even if the main character is the most unaware/self-aware/obsessed person you’ll read about for a mile.

But he’s saving everyone because of his career.

Read it and let me know what you think.

Call Me a Cab – Donald E. Westlake

I loved this book.

It was released in 2022 (written in the 1970s) and reads like a screenplay.

You cannot help but read it and imagine Dustin Hoffman driving the cab or a Pamela Tiffin type playing the supporting role.

It’s very well-written and captivating.

The writer does a credit to understanding the nuances of career women and the changing dynamic in the workforce.

For its time, it was a really progressive book.

I hope this gets made into a film.

I kept imagining the leads while reading it.

My dream casting would be Diana Agron for the supporting actress–

Mia Goth as the supporting role later on in the film — and the cab driver himself?

I imagine someone unknown.

Idk?

This was the first time I read a book and thought, what actor would play this role?

When it gets made (if it gets made), I hope they stick to making it as if it were made in the 1970s –Embracing grainy film, terrible mustard tones — going all out for the time and place it was written in.

Such a fun read.

10/10 stars.

A must-read.

The Un-HoneyMooners

Hands down, my favorite beach read from the romance novel section this go-around.

Well-written, engaging, culturally rich, and adventurous.

It’s great to read about a confident woman who knows her worth and still knows she has a lot to learn and a lot to grow through, which is always a fun read for me on a personal level.

I couldn’t recommend this book enough and I don’t want to give too much away.

You should absolutely add this to your reading list.

10/10 stars.

Let me know if you have read these?

What are your thoughts?

xx,

Nikita

The post Four Summer Book Reviews – Is a Rave Review Everything? appeared first on Bella Kate 22.