The Real Flex is Personal Style – Stop Looking Rich

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Stop Looking Rich —

In my maybe not so humble opinion — Looking rich is so boring.

Also, this could have been a Substack post, but alas — I am committed to the bit. 

Have you ever met generationally wealthy people? Like, actually wealthy people?

They tend to have terrible style. Not all of them.

Princess Margaret and Princess Ann tended, and tend to have great style (and are generationally wealthy), as is Paris Hilton, but her mother’s side is from a normal background, and so — there you have it. 

I would say, aside from someone like Princess Diana, who was generationally wealthy but partied with the people and was where the people were, it reflected in her style.

Why?

She always dressed for the occasion, but always remained true to herself. I think her sons and their families also have adopted this as well. 

If wealthy people do come down to our level at any level, at the lower heights of normality, they can usually come off as too pretentious to be taken seriously, just as we look diabolical trying to pretend to look rich.

What is Rich Behavior? Stop Looking Rich

Real rich is buying a $1,500 basic Hanes looking white t-shirt and not thinking much, if anything, about it —

While calling your housekeeper to grab your favorite gluten-free crackers, and having a sit-down lunch at two p.m. to go over a new business plan in a restaurant that people usually save for life’s many milestones.

Being rich, actually rich (like in your bank account), is like living your everyday life, and planning your every day life, as if it is your birthday, your graduation, your wedding.

Every day, meaning that, even if you have a bad day, you can usually go to book something to take the edge off.

Buy your favorite meal, schedule in a massage, stockpile your favorite things to go home and disappear for a few days while you feel better —

Or at least plan a last-minute vacation and pay for everyone you want there to have a chance to be there with you, or to go it alone. 

Wealth gives people options, while tackling the art of being a human, which is already very hard. 

Wealthy people are rarely shocked by opulence, because nine times out of ten, opulence looks tacky.

What people really want is class.

The normies (everyday folk) want class and think the goal is to look rich, while rich people don’t even look rich. 

You can’t buy class, and even very wealthy people rarely have it themselves. 

Regality and class is something you can be taught, but it’s often a sauce you are born with. 

Standards 

I have often thought about the life of a truly wealthy person, and I am not saying it is not for me; I am saying these are the things that would drive me nuts.

Housekeeping…..

In order for something to be clean, I have to clean it myself.

Wealthy people don’t often clean after themselves. That would drive me nuts. 

If I go to a hotel, I have to wipe every surface down with a Clorox wipe.

I always find something that grosses me out, and I cannot wait to get back to my own home. 

For one, I don’t mind a sweep through, but a deep clean —

I would probably trust you if I supplied all my own things, but again, I have standards that I would want to be met with some level or my standards going forward —

Which is why I need to do it myself.

For example, the bathroom needs different cleaning supplies, and the shower, the counters and the toilet all get different sponges and the toilet and shower sponge can only be used once.

I know.

In fact, I hate sponges, and so I love a Clorox wipe after a sponge. 

I sound nuts.

I think I would hire someone just to do it myself, or have them shadow me, and at that rate —

If I have to be picky – a housekeeper for a wealthy person deserves to make well over $100k a year.

That is the LEAST I can do if I have to be super picky, because if you pay people and you trust people, the work you get from them is more genuine and of a higher quality. 

Consider this — If you are Bezos rich, I would say that your house staff should be making MONEY!

If you’re Bezos rich, I think you should give your staff a month off every six months, paid.

Being rich like Jeff Bezos is a true testament to your heart posture.

I think if you are ever afforded wealth like that, that you should host the homeless shelters and work with shelters and job fairs every holiday season. 

In fact, I think you should be going to Congress regularly, not on how to get richer and pay less taxes, but to make America more affordable, with more public services. 

Rockefeller that wealth, and live a better life. My God!

Lack of Privacy

Wealthy people don’t have privacy because their house staff knows too much, and that is why people have to sign NDA’s.

Who would want to live like that?

True wealth is being excited about the mundane things in life and keeping your privacy intact, while still being able to pay your bills.

The one upside to being a normal person is this — you can wear whatever you want, and no one is going to care.

A win is a win!

Normal is a Style Flex

Dressing to look wealthy is as diabolical as it sounds…

Not to mention, it looks off most of the time, if I am going to be honest.

It feels like when someone gets a nose job, and lies about it and says that “actually, that is their real nose.”

It feels like you have to play up this lie by not questioning it further,

and you know it is not because you can see the facial molding that only a plastic surgeon can do. 

Let’s apply this to every facet of your life — if it looks like the lifestyle is wearing you instead of you wearing the lifestyle, it means it is out of alignment and out of your wheelhouse of understanding. 

The social structure of the wealthy is a class most of us would fail. Understandably. So be comfortable with that, while also striving to live out your highest potential. 

You can still do this while dressing to look like the best version of yourself, in clothes you can afford, in fabrics that suit you — that is the real flex.

Wealthy people hire stylists because style is formed by experiences that only real life can teach you, and a runway can’t, and stylists often have that special experience under lock and key.

Name one famous designer who came from opulence and has maintained their brand with other wealthy designers at the helm.

Usually, designers are normal people creating fantasy for the wealthy, while the everyday person is learning how to conduct their own style by creatively shopping and learning the ropes for themselves.

Influencer Culture – Stop Looking Rich

If you had to break down the last decade of fashion, and in particular the last ten, we seem to all want the same things.

Is that why envy is at an all-time high?

People are out here trying to achieve “things” while forgetting to go touch grass.

Before the internet happened, what did you want?

What did you like?

Learn from Your Grandparents – Stop Looking Rich

Clothes were made of a higher quality even thirty years ago, and people took pride in how they dressed.

Today, I would say, we as a society have gotten sloppy.

Lazy even.

Having a higher self-esteem is correlated with a few things.

A clean living space, movement, healthy eating, and dressing well, as it boosts your mood.

Keep these things a part of your rotation.

Never let anyone trick you out of your light, your authenticity, and your spot.

Trust me.

Moths like shiny things, and your light irritates demons, baby!

Let’s talk about the backlash that comes when you take care of yourself and when you operate in your authenticity. 

Life gets harder, actually. People get weirder and pettier, and you need to be prepared for that. 

Authenticity

If you have ever experienced what felt like an abusive dynamic, you may recognize how disorienting it can be, especially when it affects your confidence, resources, or reputation.

In my experience, abusive dynamics often involve attempts to undermine someone’s confidence, resources, or reputation.

I once worked for someone who knew I had a blog, and knew I had dabbled in music, and this person would regularly attack things I was interested in in a weird way. 

This person would make very passive aggressive statements that if you called it out, you would look like you were crazy.

On a few occasions, this person would have their staff send photos of me working to them, or they would take photos of me in weird instances, and once I realized what was going on, I quit. 

I actually quit on the day my grandfather died, one year later, and a few days before his mother’s birthday, in early May.

It seemed like I had his permission to end the cycle on that day alone. A big hug in my mind’s eye, and a stern Gramps stating, “They can’t treat you like that.” 

A family line of hard working individuals had given me an okay to pick myself over the bullshit. God himself had worked a miracle that day. 

I only know it was my grandpa, because one year prior, he had told me that he had died and I went to sleep knowing he had died, and the next morning when my mom went to tell me, I told her that he already had told me before he finally left. 

Looking back, I felt my credibility within the organization had been damaged. In my opinion, some decisions prioritized appearances over the quality of the work being produced.

It did not make sense. It was a waste of that persons money and other people’s time and energy and talent. 

This person would often change meeting times, which felt disorienting with all the mounting projects that also changed daily, from what I can remember.

Being berated for not being on a call or meeting, usually in front of other prominent people in the same field I was working in felt awful, and I felt like it made me look poorly to those individuals, while also feeling like it was discrediting my validity to even be there.

A week previous to my quitting, this individual at hand had a room full of people we worked with closely, and this person basically stated he wished he had filled a position before hiring me for my current role. 

I was scapegoated for the entire breakdown of this persons already incompetent operation and dealings. Every time.

The table fell silent. 

It was a disaster. 

Perception

On top of that, I was hired for my work ethic and ideas, and by the time I had quit, this person had completely shifted my perception of my work ethic to the point that I left the industry altogether.

Working in that career field had led me to meet the WORST types of people I have ever had the displeasure of working with in my entire life. 

That is saying a lot. 

When I was newer to that role, I had this woman who was a few years younger than my own mother, and another co-worker who was closer in age to myself had tell me that the older co-worker took issue with me because I spoke directly and confidently towards her.

I had no idea that was offensive to someone twice my age. 

But seeing as how this woman regularly played passive aggressive games in meetings and in emails —

It was no surprise that a direct communicator would throw her manipulation tactics into the fire.

Work ethic wise, everything I was in charge to take charge of is still not done to this day.

Proving once again —

The problem was never me and that a house of cards will fall on its own, even with the scapegoat gone.  

Looking back…

I felt I was the perfect candidate for being portrayed as someone who could take on the blame for things, during my time there.

This person regularly bad mouthed a colleague and let their staff question the other persons authority, all the time. 

Insecure people do insecure things. 

When I look back at photos of myself during that time period, I look unwell.

I was constantly getting sick, and was Arely able to have a moment to take care of myself. I was constantly on edge. It was awful. 

That was just a year ago, and my brain is still healing from that. 

So while “looking rich” is somehow valued, I beg you to look at what in your life makes you actually rich.

If it’s your bank account, good for you.

Maybe you are wealthy in generosity?

Maybe it’s kindness.

Perhaps it’s entertaining and hosting people.

Lean into your uniqueness, and that is where your wealth is. 

And my final thoughts.

You are NEVER a victim.

You are a human connecting evidence and dots to get you to your success.

Don’t let a group of assholes who hate themselves take your ship down with their own. 

xx.

Nikita